In this blog, I’m exploring the realities of getting older and reflecting on life since becoming middle-aged, navigating the complex terrain that comes with life beyond 40.
As I reflect on age and the realities of getting older, I’m reminded of something I often hear from younger generations. Those in their teens, twenties, or even thirties might laugh at older people like myself, perhaps believing age is a distant reality. But the truth is, one day it catches up with all of us. In this piece, I want to share my thoughts on the transitions and priorities that come with middle age, particularly for those of us who live abroad.
When I moved to the UK in my 20s, my focus was on the usual things that most people prioritise when relocating. I wanted to find a good job, go to university, and improve myself. Back then, I could even afford to work two jobs at once. I had energy, ambition, and an eagerness to have it all. Like many young people, I was also concerned about my appearance—what I wore, and how I looked. Of course, maintaining yourself is always important, but those were my main priorities back then, alongside pursuing my education and career.
Life Beyond 40: Realities of Becoming Middle-aged
Health
Now that I’m older, those concerns have shifted. I no longer worry as much about my looks or what I’m wearing. Instead, my priorities have changed entirely. My health has taken centre stage. You see, as you age, it’s not just about looking youthful on the outside—because let’s face it, I might look 21, but I certainly feel my age! I remember running around from one shift to another in my early days here, but now, I’ve slowed down considerably. The energy I once had isn’t there anymore, and that’s a reality that comes with age.
Living abroad adds another layer to this experience. As someone who grew up in Zimbabwe, I now find myself contemplating my future here in the UK. Will I retire here, or return home? Do I want to spend my later years in a nursing home? These are the questions that come up when you hit a certain age. It’s not something I thought about in my younger years, but now I find myself thinking about it often. I want to ensure I’m not a burden to my children, and that I’ve set things up to be independent in my later years. This is why health is such a priority now—because who wants to reach 65 and find they can’t enjoy life due to poor health?
It’s crucial to start looking after your health early on, not when you hit middle age. It’s about your diet, exercise, rest, and lifestyle choices. As I get older, I think more about whether I’ll have access to good healthcare and a strong support system. As we age, it becomes harder to do everything on our own, and cultivating relationships with family and friends becomes even more important. These are the people who will be there when you need them most.
Social Isolation and Loneliness
And then there’s the issue of social isolation. Living abroad makes it hard to make friends, especially in a place like the UK where people are always busy working. Socialising is often confined to online platforms, but that’s not real life. Real life is sitting down with someone, sharing a meal, laughing, and having meaningful conversations. As we get older, these connections become harder to form, and loneliness can creep in. The thought of spending your old age isolated in front of the TV all day, watching shows like *EastEnders*, is unsettling.
Financial Security
Financial security is another major concern as we age. Are you prepared for retirement? Do you have a pension or savings in place? These are questions that shouldn’t wait until your 40s or 50s. The best time to start planning for the future is the day you start working. It’s easy to think that you have all the time in the world when you’re young but trust me, time flies by. You want to make sure you have something to fall back on in your later years.
Ageing Parents
Then there’s the matter of our ageing parents. As we get older, our parents are getting older too, and this brings new worries. If you live abroad, like I do, it can be particularly challenging. You want to be there for them, to make sure they’re eating well, taking care of themselves, and getting the medical care they need. But distance makes it hard. You’re balancing your own ageing process with the concern for your parents, and it can be overwhelming.
Children
Lastly, I think a lot about my children and how growing up in a foreign country has affected their identity. My daughter may have a British passport, but at her core, she is still Zimbabwean. I’ve always tried to instil that in her. But as I get older and think about possibly returning to Zimbabwe, I wonder how this cultural duality will play out for her. Will she feel as connected to her roots as I do? As parents, it’s something we worry about—striking that balance between integration and retaining our cultural identity.
In conclusion, getting older, especially as someone living abroad, brings with it a host of new priorities. Health, financial stability, relationships, and family all take on new significance. It’s important to start thinking about these things early, to prepare for the future, and to cultivate strong, meaningful connections. Life may change as we age, but that doesn’t mean we stop living—it just means we live with a different focus.
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