In this blog, I show you how to be vulnerable and why it is important to Allow Yourself to Be Vulnerable
So, here's the thing...sometimes, even though our worlds are falling apart, we do whatever it takes to convince those around us that everything is perfect.
We even spend precious time in front of the mirror, fixing our hair and sifting through the closet for that flattering outfit. We walk tall, holding our heads high, convincing ourselves and the world that we have everything under control - that we are doing OK.
Social media has made this incredibly easy. All one needs is a convincing enough photo to create a narrative; none would be the wiser.
So, against all odds, we maintain the facade because the mere thought of revealing our truth terrifies us.
'What would people say if they saw my scar?' 'What would they think?' We ask ourselves.
So, we exhaust ourselves trying to hold it together. Deep within, though, we are a rippling volcano. And all it takes is a little prod on the right spot to erupt and turn everything into ashes.
And when the unthinkable happens - when that volcano finally erupts - those around us wonder what the hell happened.
‘How could such a well-put-together man or woman snap like that? How did we not see it coming?’
Well, I reckon one of the reasons is that we are good at hiding. We hide behind fake smiles and polite conversation and do not embrace our vulnerability when we need to embrace it.
Because you see, there is a time and a place.
So, What is Being Vulnerable And How To Be Vulnerable And Why
To understand vulnerability is to draw from my experience and perhaps the experience of others.
Brene Brown, whose work I follow, says that vulnerability takes courage and is a brave thing for a person to do.
You do not always have to have everything under control. Sometimes, you need to fall apart to be put back together again.
We all want to be accepted for who they are, warts and all. And yet, we do whatever it takes to hide our true authentic selves from those who matter the most to us. The people from whom we crave complete acceptance, love and comfort - this defeats the purpose, I reckon.
Perhaps we fear rejection - let's face it, rejection sucks, and so do judgement, snide remarks and wagging tongues.
But the funny thing is (I have realised) that when we dare to be brave enough to embrace our vulnerability, we feel liberated. We exhale and feel free because we no longer have to hide or keep weaving a story to convince.
So, what are those moments of vulnerability? How do you even embrace it in a healthy way?
To me, embracing your vulnerable moments means not sitting on the sidelines, wishing and hoping for something to come to you. Instead, it is daring to reach out, asking for your wants and desires.
Being vulnerable is daring to profess your love to someone and loving them even though there is no guarantee they will not break your heart.
It is embracing your flaws, revealing your true, authentic self, and giving someone a choice - to be with who you really are or to move on. It is trusting and taking that leap of faith as you go after what you want in life.
Being vulnerable also means letting someone see your weakness, telling them about your deepest fears, admitting your wrongs and asking them to forgive you. It is trusting that there is more value in your efforts rather than the outcome - because there are no guarantees in life.
Perhaps, vulnerability is standing in front of your church, giving a testimony, or crying in front of your pastor, friend or wife without worrying they will think less of you.
It is giving yourself permission to feel what you feel without fear of being judged or ridiculed. It is turning to someone and admitting that you are hurting, need help, cannot cope, and have had enough.
It is letting someone help you.
Finally, in the words of Brene Brown, "The courage to be vulnerable is not about winning or losing, it's about the courage to show up when you can't predict or control the outcome.”