In this blog, I unmask the Fear of Being Seen: The Silent Barrier Holding You Back. Life Hack, Motivational and Personal Development blog. (Watch the video instead).
As I reflect on my journey as a content creator, writer, and blogger, I can't help but acknowledge the internal conflicts that held me back from starting when I should have. I believe many of you might resonate with these struggles, so I'm here to share my story.
About fourteen years ago, when I embarked on creating content, I knew what I wanted to do and why I needed to do it, but I had this deep-seated fear of being seen. The very idea of putting myself out there, allowing people to see me, terrified the hell out of me. I remember the first time I published my first blog post. I was so scared of people's thoughts that I almost didn't hit the 'publish' button.
As I was reflecting on this journey, I could pinpoint the exact reasons that stopped me from getting started when I should have started. I still struggle with some of these things, but they no longer stop me from pursuing my passion. Besides, developing the courage to conquer these obstacles is part of the journey. I'm a work in progress, and that's perfectly fine.
Let's delve into these barriers, using my personal experiences and ongoing struggles to reassure you that it's OK to be who you are in your journey. But remember, these fears are not insurmountable. I'm here to motivate you to start, to pursue your passions, and to show you that setbacks are not the end of your path but merely a detour.
Reasons Fear of Being Seen is Holding You Back
Fear of judgment
I was afraid of being judged and of people's negative opinions. I was afraid of potential rejection because you enter a vulnerable place when you make your presence known on any level, whether presenting yourself to one person, two people or a group of people. After all, you don't know how people will receive you. You can never tell how you will be perceived, whether you will judged by your looks, the way you sound, or your message; you cannot tell. There's possible rejection, so at the time, the fear crippled me and stopped me from starting when I should have.
But guess what, it's OK. People will judge you anyway, whether you create content or not. We all judge each other on some level, but that doesn't mean it's done with malicious intentions. I have also realised that most of our fears are just ours. Most people don't care the way we think they do. It is also possible that the people whose judgement you fear are also dealing with their fears. So, when I understood this, my fears evaporated.
Low self-esteem
I must be honest: I was very insecure when I started creating content. I was not confident and secure in how I looked and spoke, and I was insecure in many other ways. I didn't think I had anything of value to offer anyone, so I came from a place of low self-esteem.
Eventually, I knew if I wanted to pursue my passions and hobbies, I had to overcome my insecurity and become more secure and confident in myself and my message. This will not happen overnight, but by consistently showing up, being patient with yourself, and learning from others.
Fear of failure
Fear of failure was also another reason that kept me stuck for a long time. I was afraid to fail because, at the time, I thought, what if I put myself out there, dare present myself to a community, start a blog or a YouTube channel, dare get out of my comfort zone and fail? What would people think of me? Would they laugh at me? Would they think I'm a fool? This deep-seated fear of failing kept me stuck, unable to fully embrace the growth process.
But I have since understood that failure is just part of success. To me, failure now is just feedback because when you start something and hit a wall, you know your methods aren't working or that you're missing something. You can then return to the drawing board, reflect and start again with a different approach.
The same applies when you present yourself to someone. Maybe it's an offer of friendship, whatever scenario you may come up with if you dare to take the leap, and maybe you get rejected or fail in your efforts to reach, touch, or convince someone; that's your feedback. That's how you know the person or an environment is not right for you. So, failure isn't necessarily bad; it's just feedback.
Social anxiety
Even though I consider myself to have some degree of social anxiety, a more accurate way to describe it is that I don't like being the centre of attention. This sounds a little bit strange, paradoxical and counterintuitive, especially being a content creator because, to a greater extent, putting yourself out there makes you the centre of attention because if people watch your videos or read your blog, you're making you're drawing attention to yourself even though that's not the goal. The real goal is to connect and be a part of a community.
Being the centre of attention comes with its drama. When you're the centre of attention, you expose yourself and open yourself up to attack. I sometimes go on social media, such as Facebook and Twitter, and I notice the drama that happens there, and it's not pretty.
No one prepares you for the drama and everything that comes with putting yourself out there as a content creator. No one prepares you for the vulnerability you feel, but we all have to deal with it and find ways to work through it. One must embrace everything that comes with it to connect, touch lives, make an impact, and leave one's mark on the world.
The most important thing to remember is to be authentic. Stay true to yourself, appreciating that not everyone will agree with you; not everyone has the same point of view as you, and not everyone sees the world the way you see it. That's the beauty of diversity.
Not Knowing Your WHY
One of the things I always ask myself whenever I start something is 'WHY?' I need to be clear on the purpose and motivation behind the steps and the choices I make in life. It's a personal journey, and I understand how easy it is to doubt yourself and let a lack of immediate results or failure get in the way of your goals. You need to find out your why.
Understanding your 'why' helps establish a clear sense of purpose and direction. Your 'why' is a powerful motivator, especially during tough times. There will be moments when you feel less confident, exhausted, and discouraged. But knowing the reason for wanting to dare try in the first place will keep you going, making you resilient and strong.
So, dare to go out there and risk being seen because your 'why' is bigger than your fears. It's about being brave and courageous in the face of uncertainty.
Fear can be seen as holding you back. I know with me, fear of judgement and fear of failure has stopped me from going for opportunities in the past. A really great post x
Lucy | www.lucymary.co.uk
I understand it is hard to put yourself out there because people are so critical of others. I have to remember that if I am doing a good job and helping someone out, that is all that matters.