top of page

How to Not Give Up On Yourself

If you're having a dark day, you're not alone.

We all have those dark days. Days when we question our existence and wonder what the point of all this is. When giving up seems like the only solution.

When we feel like this, those looking in often encourage us to persevere, reminding us that 'this too shall pass'. And yet somehow, no matter how hard we try, the universe sometimes appears to conspire against us.

For some, the feeling of wanting to give up comes knocking more often than they would like. It is not just a fleeting feeling caused by a bad day but a constant battle. And I have found the following effective in helping me ride the tide of hopelessness and despair.


Yes, sometimes the solution is that simple.

It has been scientifically proven that chronic sleep deprivation can raise your levels of anxiety, depression and negative thinking. Because sometimes, in an attempt to achieve our goals and dreams, we push ourselves to the limit, neglect our bodies, and forget to give ourselves that much-needed rest. So, finding time to provide the body with the adequate rest it needs will facilitate rejuvenation and positivity.

Practice Mindfulness

Practice being in tune with your body, mind and soul. The most important thing to remember when you're in a dark place is that it is OK to feel what we feel. But what we do with our feelings and thoughts is another thing.

We should always remember that the mind is powerful. So powerful that it can create heaven for us if we let it. On the flip side, it can make a living hell for us if we are not careful.

While recognising our thoughts, feelings and emotions and acknowledging them is crucial, we should also make a conscious effort to curb negative thoughts and focus on what we can control, gratitude and dwelling on the positive things in our lives and our areas of strengths, however small that might seem, rather than doom and gloom.

By being intentional and making this effort daily to be grateful and positive, we reprogramme our minds to dampen feelings of failure and hopelessness and towards positive outcomes, for the human reason tends to magnify what we focus on exponentially.

Establish a Workout Routine

A good workout routine triggers the body to release feel-good chemicals called endorphins, which give a person that feeling of euphoria, reducing stress and anxiety, boosting mood and increasing energy.

Find Good Friends

Get rid of toxic friends and get yourself some good ones - I cannot emphasise this enough. When you’re in a dark hole, nothing is more valuable than reaching out to someone who cares, loves, knows and understands you. We all need 'our person' or 'persons' who will facilitate a safe environment to be vulnerable without feeling ashamed or judged. Those precious souls who can see the tears behind your smile and know what you need before you even care to admit it. Those are the kind of friends you want.

Forgive Yourself

In striving for perfection, dealing with failure or rejection can be a struggle. But it is worth remembering that failure is a crucial part of success, for it equips us with problem-solving skills and strengthens our resilience.

The true measure of a person is not the mistake they make or the rejection, but how they handle that mistake or rejection. You’re not the first person to make a mistake or face rejection, and you won’t be the last. Therefore, give yourself some grace and forgive yourself. We cannot undo what has already happened, but you can move forward by doing your best henceforth.

Find Your Source of Strength

Humans often turn to a higher power for strength and courage when dealing with adversity. Something outside of yourself that helps you to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Some draw strength and resilience from scripture and prayer. For others, it is meditation, listening to motivational speeches and uttering words of affirmation. These are magnificent ways of reaffirming your purpose on this earth, of reminding yourself that you are here and deserve to be here.

Therefore, explore what gives you hope and courage when you need it the most because without something outside of ourselves to help us make sense of things, it is hard to pick ourselves up during dark times.

Stop Comparing Yourself To Others

When dealing with adversity, looking at your situation realistically is always prudent because unrealistic expectations or trying to be something you're not will only cause immense suffering and frustration.

Social media has dominated our society, making it hard, if not impossible, to compare ourselves. Comparing ourselves to other people bear devastating psychological consequences in our lives. For instance, observing someone whose life appears perfect from afar will often convince us of our failures and imperfections.

At times, we become engulfed by jealousy and envy, forgetting that what people post on social media is often well-curated to portray a perfect and polished image which is the direct opposite of what happens behind closed doors - things aren’t always as they seem.

One does well to remember that a) we are all different and uniquely important, and it is OK to embrace who we are. b) we don't always understand another person's journey or obstacles to accomplishing that ‘good life.’ Perhaps, just like us, they laboured, failed a few times and were rejected but chose not to give up. So, rather than comparing, it is better to draw inspiration from the people whose lives we admire.

Seek Professional Help

If you’re feeling suicidal, seek help immediately by calling the suicide hotline in your area. Your feelings of hopelessness are valid, but there is always a solution.

Another way to look at things is if you have hit rock bottom, the only way is up.

UK Suicide helpline: Samaritans 116 123

or contact Samaritans or other professionals in your country.

96 views8 comments

Recent Posts

See All
bottom of page