Gen Z vs African Parents: In this blog, I'm using my experience raising a Gen Z daughter to explore the essential parenting hacks I've learnt as an African mum living abroad (in the UK).
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Balancing Culture and Modern Realities: Parenting Gen Z Abroad
As a parent, one of the greatest joys in my life is spending quality time with my daughters. Whenever we come together, our discussions are lively and cover a wide range of topics—from love to our African culture. Sometimes, these conversations become quite heated. Last Christmas, we had one of those intense discussions about the expectations of our African culture, its traditions, and how they often clash with the realities faced by Gen Z and Millennials, especially those living abroad.
What emerged from that discussion was a crucial realisation that, as parents living abroad, we must strike a delicate balance between preserving our cultural heritage and adapting to the present environment in which we are raising our children.
So, what do African Mums Living Abroad Need to Know?
Gen Z vs African Parents: The Top Essential Parenting Hacks for African Mums Abroad
My Childhood vs. Raising Kids in the UK
Growing up as an African child in Zimbabwe, strict obedience was the norm. Respecting your parents meant complying with their wishes without question. Asking "why" or challenging their authority was seen as disrespectful. Respect is a cornerstone of our culture—something I still hold dear—but in those days, it meant fulfilling demands without questioning or discussion.
Tough love was also a defining feature of my upbringing. You were expected to face challenges head-on without complaint because life, as we were told, was inherently difficult. Corporal punishment was a common method of discipline. Mistakes often lead to a slap or beating, depending on the severity of your 'crime'. Although this is no longer widely practised, corporal punishment was considered normal and effective for instilling discipline -
Fast forward to today, and raising a Gen Z child in the UK has revealed a generational shift. This generation thrives on open dialogue. If I ask my daughters to do something or share an aspect of our culture, they want to understand the "why." I must admit, that having to justify why I was asking my daughter to do certain tasks at home was a challenge at first. It went against everything I had learnt. But over time, I realised that conversations and explanations are essential. My daughter's questions were coming from a place of wanting to learn. Moreover, this generation is more emotionally attuned and sensitive, which means that as a parent, I’ve had to adopt a softer approach while still instilling discipline when necessary.
Picking Battles and Teaching Lessons
Parenting in a different cultural environment has taught me the importance of balance. There are times when I let things go—especially when I know that no real harm will come from my children learning from their own experiences. When they return to me with the consequences of their choices, I use those moments to teach valuable lessons.
However, there are also moments when taking a firm stance is non-negotiable. Knowing when to be firm and when to let go is key. Parenting, I’ve realised, is about picking your battles wisely.
Cultural Expectations vs. Modern Realities
Another sensitive but important topic is the dynamic between African parents and their children, especially regarding financial responsibilities. Traditionally, African parents often expect their children to support them financially once they start working. This expectation stems from a culture of gratitude, where children are expected to repay their parents for raising them.
While this expectation might be reasonable in cases where parents are struggling to make ends meet, it becomes unfair when parents are financially stable. In such cases, expecting children to provide money can hinder their ability to save, invest, and build their own financial stability. Black tax where young people are expected to support extended families financially. While community is a fundamental component of our culture, Black tax can sometimes cause emotional and financial strain on young people who are also trying to establish themselves in the world.
When not done correctly, some cultural obligations can create a cycle of poverty, preventing general wealth from being created. Generational wealth is crucial for breaking poverty cycles, and as African families, we must start thinking about long-term financial stability instead of perpetuating dependency.
Challenges Facing Gen Z Abroad
For Gen Z living abroad, balancing cultural expectations with modern challenges can be overwhelming. Reports show that nearly half of young adults in the UK cannot afford homes without parental support. Job security is another issue, with intense competition for high-paying, stable jobs. These financial constraints add to the pressure of adhering to cultural traditions that may no longer align with their realities.
As parents, we must reassess and tailor cultural expectations to fit modern realities. This doesn’t mean abandoning our culture—far from it. Instead, it’s about celebrating our traditions in ways that are meaningful and sustainable, without imposing unnecessary burdens.
The Importance of Open Dialogue
Open dialogue is essential in bridging the gap between generations. Explaining the "why" behind our cultural practices helps our children understand and respect them. Culture is a foundation of identity, and without it, we risk confusion and disconnection. However, imposing traditions without explanation often leads to resistance.
As a parent, I’ve learned to approach these conversations with humility and empathy. My goal is to instil discipline while prioritising my children’s mental health and emotional well-being. Recognising their unique challenges as Gen Z living abroad is part of that process.
Building Bridges
In conclusion, parenting Gen Z as an African mom abroad is about striking the right balance. It’s about preserving our rich cultural heritage while adapting to modern realities. This balance is vital for building bridges between our traditions and the future we envision for our children.
Parenting isn’t just about raising kids; it’s about equipping them with the tools to navigate two worlds—our cultural roots and their new environment. Let’s continue to have these important conversations, celebrate our traditions meaningfully, and support our children as they forge their paths.
Please feel free to leave your thoughts and experiences.
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